Pilling the Cat

Ugh! Adventure around the house.

Galt, our oldest cat, is 15. He spent a year outside with Ajax (after fighting the Great Urine Wars of 2009). When Ajax died, we thought we'd conduct the grand experiment of letting Galt back into the house (because Galt's a very personable doglike cat, and the children love him).

So, we take the old cat to the vet. Said cat used to weigh 15 pounds. Now he's down to a too-svelte 7.5 or so, and the vet wanted to run a bunch of tests on him. Said tests commenced with results soon following. The verdict: Galt's hyperthyroid and needs daily medicine.

Pilling a cat is about as fun as...you can fill in the blank here. In the interest of not being too vulgar, I'll say "bathing a snapping turtle who hasn't eaten in 2 weeks." Yeah, that fun. The first few nights were a dream. It went like this:

1. Trap cat.
2. Smile at cat.
3. Stuff pill (using hand) in cat's gullet
4. Stroke cat's chin and mumble sweet threats
5. Free cat until tomorrow

Not bad, eh? Well, no pill gun in the Noggle household of late...that worked until the cat realized this was going to be a nightly thing. Now he's a bit wiser.

Just last week a friend told me a cat pilling story that included cat antics, human cunning, and a bunch of cat slobber. Oh, no, that'll never happen to ME, I thought. I have this cat-pilling process all down.

Tonight...it took no fewer than 6 tries to pill this cat. And I'm by myself this evening, so once I let the cat go thinking he'd swallowed the pill, I had to coax him back into my loving, pilling arms again using every piece of wit I owned. I prevailed (somehow), and then it was like an infinite loop of pill chucking. Everytime this orange pill came outta the cat, it was wetter, slimier, and, well, less orange.

I still have all my fingers, though; I still have all my fingers THIS TIME.

Is a four-year old too young to pill a cat? That sounds like a good chore.

hln

Noble Tristan, Stain'd

I wondered who wrote those notes on my office desk. Guess he got a bit overzealous.
hln

Meet Eduardo

Tristan, my white cat, has had some health issues of late. I'll not go into their nature (since some of you may be eating), but I brought him back from the vet in far better health than he was upon travel to the vet. Thank goodness for the vet.

The day after the vet drama, though, one of my other cats BIT HIS EAR AND PUNCTURED IT. Yes, the stud jokes ensued, but my heart was broken. This is my TRISTAN, my beloved white cat who is so loyal to me that I can call him from anywhere in the house, and typically he will come running.

Brian was, of course, trying to cheer me about the cat's disfiguration. He told me we could put him in the witness protection program - dye the cat brown, and rename him Eduardo...and everyone (the cat population) would be none the wiser.

Meet Eduardo. We just skipped the dye part.

My poor kitty.

hln

MEOW

Ajax would like you to scratch his belly.



hln

Cats Have Lips

Yes, really. Never thought about it, but they do.

These are the things that Brian and I talk about while doing dishes, other chores. We actually argued about it, and Aurora volunteered (was the nearest cat) to be the display cat. I picked her up, pried open her mouth, and, hey, what do you know?

Brian clarified that birds do not have lips. See, beaks are not lips. Dogs do have lips, though.

hln

Hey You Cat Owners, Help

I have no time to blog, but I have a question, and I want to look like I'm updating the blog, so here we go...

How many cats do you have, and do you have leather furniture, and can the twain meet?

Discuss. Help me. Considering leather furniture.

Back to work.

hln

Cute Cat Moment

I got this from Val of Metro Animal. If you're cat friendly, you'll awwww.

http://www.kittyprints.com.

hln

Aurora Knows

Aurora called me at work from home. She's displeased that no one has commented about her pictures. Come on, people. Tell Aurora what a cute cat she is, or I'll hear ALL about it when I get home. And she probably won't allow me to post any more cute cate pictures, either. And that'll anger Dominique.

hln

Sunday Cat Blogging

Is this supposed to be a Friday thing? In the spirit of Pixy Misa, James Joyner, and Kevin Drum, here are some pictures of my cats. Not all of 'em, mind you, because I have five. But I'll get there eventually. (That cat in the left picture on Kevin's site is on my desktop at work, but a different picture).

Today is Aurora day. I have pictures of Galt and Ajax already on the blog.





hln

John Galt Update

Galt is recovering. He is happy to be home, and he should be healthy. The tumor removal was a success.



Ain't he dapper? The deal was pretty expensive, too - about $418.00.

And, yes, I realize I could have fed dinner to 418 homeless crack addicts for that hefty sum. I CHOSE NOT TO.

My regular good humor should return soon.

Good night, all.

hln

John Galt, Vomit, and Sundry Other Bodily Excretions

Who is John Galt?

This John Galt.

(Though a veterinarian once asked the same question, and the only answer he got from me is "exactly.")

Galt is my first cat - he's 7 1/2 years old. I've had him longer than I've known Brian, and, for the most part he's a great cat. He likes to produce these little benign tumors on various parts of his body. I'm thankful they're benign, but they are still tumors, so we have them removed. I found the third one this morning and flipped out, assuming the worst (malignant until proven benign, etc.).

I got an appointment set up for him - 2:40 this afternoon.

That was the easy part.

See, Galt HATES the carrier. But woman is stronger than cat, so in the carrier he went. I have some experience with this considering the seven years we've been together. First, it was just a bit of vomiting. Now, every time he's in a car, he usually vomits AND performs some other excretory function, the least of which is frothing at the mouth. That's not so bad.

When we moved him from the last house to this one, we didn't use the carrier (moved three cats, had two carriers) and rather kept him on my lap while Brian drove, thinking that he'd be more docile and that the CARRIER was the problem (not the cat - should've known better). About halfway from one house to the next, the cat exhibited pre-stress vomiting behavior. About four blocks from the house, the cat let forth a mildly fetid spew (could've been worse) of Friskies - all over me.

Well, what can you do? I laughed. I laughed so hard I'm sure it was disturbing to the other four people in the car, only one of whom knows me well enough to understand that the only ways for me to react in that situation are to intensely freak out or, as we all say, laugh my ass off.

I digress.

Today's trip to the vet went a little like this.

Heather arrives home from work and sets the cat carrier out (open) before going to sweet talk the cat into being as docile as possible. She places towels in a plastic bag for clean-up of any messes cat will make. Cat reads Heather's intentions while she approaches him and hides under the sofa. Other cats watch, bemused (because they're cats). Heather scruffs Galt and takes him upstairs. Battle of wills ensues. Cat loses.

Cat in carrier goes in car. About halfway there, cat vomits (quite unceremoniously, which is odd for him, as I mentioned). I shrug it off; I'm "prepared."

Another 1/4 mile, and cat defecates. I know this from the smell. He's in the carrier, and I've got the sunroof open, so I make unpleasant faces, scrunching up my face to avoid the smell as much as possible and ignore Galt's yowling for the remainder of the trip.

When we arrive, I formulate this great plan, whereby I will open the cat carrier (because once the cat's in, he doesn't want out, y'know) and clean the front part where the vomit is, then remove the cat, clean the back, more offensive part, and then replace the cat in the carrier.

Uh, no. Cat escapes. Heather quickly closes the sunroof. Cat has nowhere to go. Yowling still, cat paces on the dashboard while Heather cleans out the carrier. The cat has defecated on the towel, so the carrier is actually clean when the towel and vomit from the front are removed.

Now, to place cat in carrier yet again. Because of Heather's seated position in driver's section of car, cat actually wins this battle.

Heather scruffs cat, opens door, and drags screaming cat (all 13 lbs of him) into Page Animal Hospital. Veterinary workers view distressed mother and cat.

The rest of the time, of course, cat is docile, sweet, loving, and kind, even during the biospy.

It's benign. I'm at my emotional wits' end, though. You'd think I'd be relieved, instead.

But... His surgery's Tuesday. We do it ALL OVER AGAIN!

I told them to expect a dirty cat.

hln

Cathexis John Cole waxes insightful

Cathexis

John Cole waxes insightful regarding his feline companions. And it's delightful.

When I reach down to rub their bellies, I am usually bitten. When I work on the computer, I am usually greeted with the perfectly placed southern end of a northbound cat- this is Tunch's idea of giving me affection- cat booty in the face while I am trying to read. When friends come over, the cats ignore me and do none of the entertaining things they do when no one else is around- making me look like a liar and a fool. When I finally go to sleep, my cats either decide to play on top of me, or start meowing about something or another.

hln

Ajax Against the World

I received a "marketing tool" gift today from the owner of my company, a "stress world," if you will. It's a squeezable ball with world artwork on it, and it says "Global Wizard," which is the name of the software product on which I work. Global Wizard, or GWIZ for short, is set to launch next Tuesday in Chicago, so today I've found myself owning not only this stress world, but also a nifty GWIZ letter opener. You can tell I worked too long today because I am blogging about work. At any rate, all of the fun with the stress world ensued when I brought said item home. I placed it on the counter, and it was soon found by my most adventurous cat, Ajax, who surveyed it, sniffed it, and promptly put it in his mouth and carried it around the house. This was so humorous I attempted (for quite some time) to get a picture of my cat chewing on the world, but, alas, he would do no such thing for the digital camera. Hey, someone, right there's a dissertation in waiting for some Heisenberg Principle enthusiast, as Brian pointed out. This is the best I could do, but it's still extremely cute, though not as funny, as his ball-carrying behavior. One cat against the world - proving that, indeed, the world is not enough. hln