Planet Earth?

Who ARE these people? How does the human thought process lead to this?

A Foley woman was arrested after sheriff's deputies said she doused her live-in boyfriend with lighter fluid and tried to set him on fire. Jessica Bressie, 30, of the 200 block of Burr Oak, Foley, was charged with first-degree assault and was being held today on $50,000 cash-only bail in the Lincoln County Jail. According to authorities, the couple got into an argument Saturday about writing markers. The children, ages 3 and 6, apparently were playing with them, and they weren't supposed to be. Bressie's boyfriend, 30, who also is the father of the children, decided to leave, but as he tried to back their minivan away from the home, Bressie smashed a baseball bat into the windshield, authorities said. The man got out of the vehicle, and Bressie allegedly came after him with the baseball bat, landed several blows, causing contusions and swelling. While her boyfriend was still on the ground, Bressie grabbed a can of charcoal lighter fluid and poured it over him, soaking his clothing, deputies said. Bressie then chased him around the yard with a cigarette lighter, threatening to burn him to death.

I mean, really.

hln

Water! Now! Stat!

What? A woman's been arrested for not watering her lawn? IN AMERICA!

Brian and I better not answer our door. Not sure we've EVER watered our lawn. If you don't water it, it doesn't grow as quickly. The woman lives in Orem, UT - bet they've got an ordinance against home meadows, too. And you probably can't have cows grazing in city limits to take care of the length problem in that fashion.

Very, very scary.

hln

No, This Isn't The Onion

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Burger King has made it POLICY that it's all right to breast feed in its restaurants. I kid you not.

SALT LAKE CITY - Burger King adopted a corporate policy Friday allowing women to breast-feed their babies in restaurants — a day before a threatened "nurse-in" at the fast-food chain's facilities.

The new policy says Burger King welcomes mothers who wish to breast-feed their children.

"We want to be a family friendly place," said Rob Doughty, vice president for strategic communications for Miami-based Burger King. "We want to be responsive to our customers, and didn't know this was a big issue. Unfortunately in Utah, it went directly to the press, and we didn't have a chance to take a look at it."

He said 20 states, including Utah, allow breast-feeding in public.

Allow? Hmm, uh, okay. Wonder what the fine is for that one in the other 30 states that don't "allow" public breast feeding. And what's "public," while we're at it?

Under the new policy, employees are told: "If a customer complains about a mother who is breast-feeding, kindly explain that breast-feeding is permitted in the restaurant and suggest to that customer that he or she relocate to another section of the restaurant."

I get it - "Please seat me in the non-breast feeding section." What would the sign for that one be - a boob with a red circle and line? I'm cracking myself up here.

Plans for a nurse-in at Burger Kings on Saturday have been circulated in an unsigned e-mail sent to members of La Leche League, an international group that promotes breast-feeding.

You gotta fight...for your right...to (wait, probably not). I just really think that moms oughta perhaps save their energy for something other than the right to feed their progeny in such amazingly healthy environs.

hln

Minky! Part II

In Minky!, I mentioned that, of course, releasing 1,000 mink would make a mess.

Well, it appears we're on mess part deux.

Great "liberation," Animal Liberation Front. You rock. Minks eating each other - what a vast improvement! Am I against raising animals for fur - yes. Why? Because we can clothe ourselves with things made from plants and from other animals that're killed for food reasons. I'll never support the fur industry. But, it's legal, and private property is private property. What's next, "freeing" the oppressed house cats and dogs?

Jail, then prison. Enjoy. It'll happen.

Oh, too bad pics of this didn't turn up.

A few mink have been seen recently eating fish along local rivers and one turned up last week at a fruit stand on the edge of this town about 40 miles northeast of Seattle.

Mink with your tomatoes?

hln

Crazies, All of 'em

Aaron at Free Will got to this before I could (it was in the queue - at least the Shaklee part), so I'll just make mention and also point you to Virginia Postrel's great quote on her piece.

Don't you "militants" have anything better to do? Bombs are so...gauche.

hln

That's. Just. Great.

SAN DIEGO - A fire that destroyed three homes under construction early Friday was the work of a radical environmentalist group, officials said. Investigators are also looking into a second fire at another construction site.

Yeah, great. The zombies of the Earth Liberation Front are likely behind this latest mess.

Hey, zombies. Just where do you live? Caves? Tents made of grape leaves. Really, I want to know.

Alan of Elegance Against Ignorance has more.

hln

Extending Metaphors

If Johnny Depp says that America is a puppy (I'll spare the adjectives that make his statement more asinine), and Glenn Reynolds blends puppies into energy shakes...

Maybe we should all move to France in fear of our lives? Maybe Depp meant that we are MANY puppies (individuals as puppies?) and are therefore safe?

Someone should call Depp and ask. I'm a bit worried.

hln

Minky!

This is just...great.

SULTAN, Wash. (AP) - Days after 10,000 mink were released from a farm in southern Snohomish County, hundreds of the animals not yet captured have converged on local farms in search of food.

The animals had killed at least 25 exotic birds and attacked other livestock in the area.

"Over half our livestock was shredded. Murdered. Eaten alive," said Jeff Weaver, who discovered the dead birds on his farm Thursday. "These are not like regular farm animals. They're our pets."

Weaver, who breeds Indian Runner ducks and Banny chickens, said his field was full of the animals Thursday morning.

"One of the mink had part of a chicken in its mouth and was headed for the creek," he said. "They're starving. They'll kill anything in their path."

While I'm not too fond of the idea of mink farms, setting 10,000 free in the SAME area is going to make a mess...and did! (And that, of course, doesn't even take into account that these mink, as legally defined, are someone's PROPERTY). Two wrongs don't make a right. One may be morally wrong (raising mink presumably for only their coats - b/c you don't see too much ground mink in the meat case), but the other is both morally wrong and LEGALLY wrong.

The Animal Liberation Front claims responsibility. Expect more Animal Liberation Front posts. I should give some good air time to the Humane Society and the APA, while I'm at it.

So, let's ask those exotic birds if they feel "liberated." Bet they don't answer. The starving minks (mink?) will probably growl at you, too. And bite.

hln