February 20, 2011

The Birthday Shopping Adventure

Sometimes it's wisest to see if you can foresee what retrospect will look like. Say, in this instance... Heather (Mommy in this story) waits until the last minute (even though I had an opportunity the day before) to complete shopping for Daddy's birthday. I decide to take the children - nice outing with the two of them - to the bookstore to pick up a few (oh, close to 50) books from a set that Brian's been reading - it's a series.

I prep the children while driving that this is for Daddy's birthday and that we want it to be a surprise. So far so good.

We arrive at the bookstore, and I give each child a shopping basket (child labor) so they can be a part of the process and carry the books and feel important. We visit the section where I believe the books to be, and they have moved. So we go, baskets and all, around the store looking for the books.

By now you're asking, and what books are these? Well, Brian likes these little short pulp type books from the Executioner series (think gun porn). He has several - proudly stated that he owns about 15 last week. Little lightbulb goes off, and I knew that this store we had just entered had a bunch of them. So when we find them, I take out my list I had dutifully made of what he already has, and proceed to just start loading the two baskets as quickly as I can. Then the boys and I go to get a book for each of them before checking out. Sounds fine, right?

I am a Bad Mommy because...

1) I didn't really LOOK at these books, but, of course, I should have expected them to be what they were - books with lots of things being blown up, guns, beautiful - though scantily clad - women in dire need of rescue simply because they don't like to wear clothing on book covers, you get the picture.
2) I thought we could carry the books up to the register, pay for them, and be on our way (even if #1 proved to be an issue - had I thought that it might).
3) I believed this would be an uneventful trip because it had been to that point, so I wasn't prepared for...

1) A woman at the cash register who was chatting with the proprietor and did not really seem to be in any hurry to leave or let us purchase our books. Incidentally, she asked me if the boys were twins (um, no, 2 years apart almost) and if they were mine (nevermind the older one looks JUST LIKE ME).
2) The stairs that the boys ran up and down and up and down and jumped up and down while waiting for our transaction to be completed.
3) Boredom of the stairs when the boys started grabbing the books from the basket and looking over the covers of the books. And then I heard...

"Mom, is that a dead body on the front of this book?"


"Mom, there are lots of guns on these books. DO WE HAVE GUNS?"

Oh, my. About 10 minutes after I started line waiting, we had finally purchased everything, amused anyone in sight, and were on our way. Phew. And oops. We drive home - rush hour on a Saturday - and pull into the garage. I ask Brian, who's just started the grill, to avert his eyes from our purchases when Jimmy nearly shouts, "Dad, we got you books about guns."



Posted by hln at February 20, 2011 02:34 PM | Bad Mommy | TrackBack