June 18, 2003

Intelligent Seats

Lazy me, I didn't blog this yesterday when it was fresh news, we have the CNN article about Intelligent Seats in passenger airplanes.

Since it's not wise to take things at face value, here's how I see the things really being used in 10 years.

1) You're a nervous flyer, so that auto injection of liquid Valium dispensed to only medicate you through the remainder of the flight - godsend.

2) Person in seat 14A forgot his deodorant. Oh, no hassle for the Smart Seat. Genitalia sensor will ensure the stinky ladies are dispensed a feminine scent and the men receive a masculine version to mask the offense.

3) Flight crews dispense electric shocks for malicious entertainment on long flights and create "personal turbulence."

4) The top two sensors, at brain level, read your every thought and record it on a CD for your personal flight memoir (and sell it to you for $19.99).

5) Real terrorist threats and immediately isolated by bulletproof glass. The rest of the cabin is properly pressurized, and purported threat is ejected through the bottom of the plane. If it's a domestic flight, the seat is equipped with a parachute. International, well...

Careful of those blood clots, too. Don't sit too long.


Posted by hln at June 18, 2003 07:46 PM | Blogspot Blog