August 24, 2003

Filthy Lie™

Filthy Lie™

I'm late in posting my Filthy Lie™, but, as it didn't occur until today, how could I have posted it sooner?

I was riding my bicycle along the Annie's Frozen Custard route, when, at about the 25 mile point, this scary, bespectacled man leapt out from behind a road sign, and frightened the group of seven or eight people about a block in front of me. A small boy, probably about ten years old, shrieked and fell off his bike. The offender cackled, seized the boy's small bike, mounted it, and rode furiously away from the scene, cackling loudly and producing noises akin to what one would expect from the Green Goblin. Several people who did not know the boy laughed, for the offender's knees nearly touched his face while he pedaled.

The poor boy, stunned, began to cry.

"How odd!" thought I. The boy's parents dialed their cell phones - searching for any authority who could restore peace and justice to this small Illinois community and the wronged parties riding through it.

At the Custard rest stop about 10 miles later, the fast-pedaling bicycle thief sat licking a small custard cone. I immediately recognized the perpetrator as the one, the only, the Man Formerly Known as the Puppy Blender. Shocked (and appalled), I yelled "Hey! You! Glenn Reynolds! You stole that boy's bike. Return it immediately."

White Glenn sneered and consumed the remainder of his cone with a noisy CHOMP. "I am Instapundit" said he. "I fear no mortal woman." He turned to his filched bike and made preparations to leave.

I shouted more protests (eloquent, of course, though those around us were so engrossed in their custard frenzy they failed to notice either the irate woman or the funny-pedalling rider). "Insignificant!" he shouted. (I believe in retrospect that he meant that as a noun of direct address). "No Boggle for you!"

And that, my friends, is your Filthy Lie™. How rude!


Posted by hln at August 24, 2003 09:30 PM | Filthy Lies