September 12, 2003

Filthy Lie #3

Glenn Reynolds' doesn't have a favorite song. But he's transfixed by the song meme Lola. Here's why.

Remember the movie Telefon, starring the late Charles Bronson? People were "sleepers," activated by the text of Robert Frost's "Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening." Glenn, Evil Glenn, is activated by any song about a woman named Lola (he's safe from Clapton's Layla - it's been tried). This song meme was chosen because of deep psychological ties to Lola; our agents are unsure why. You hear Barry Manilow tell her tale. She also appears in many songs for the Kinks.

Reynolds is the only person alive who can listen to Barry Manilow's Copacabana more than twice in a row. It is a weakness that mere mortals such as you and I have - we cannot withstand the Barry Manilow torture. But Glenn's been programmed by the Lola Coalition, and Copacabana is one of those songs that sets him into entranced action.

Copacabana (truncated)

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She would merengue and do the cha-cha
And while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar
Across a crowded floor, they worked from 8 till 4
They were young and they had each other
Who could ask for more?


And - Destroyer, by the Kinks.

Met a girl called Lola and I took her back to my place
feelin' guilty, feelin' scared, hidden cameras everywhere
Stop! hold on. stay in control

Girl, I want, you here with me
but i'm really not as cool as i'd like to be
'cause there's a red, under my bed
and there's a little yellow man in my head
and there's a true, blue, inside of me
that keeps stoppin' me, touchin' ya, watchin' ya, lovin' ya

Paranoia, deep destroyer. Paranoia, deep destroyer.


And, of course, the Kinks' more well known song entitled Lola.

I met her in a club down in old Soho
where you drink champagne and it tastes just like Cherry Cola
C-O-L-A Cola.
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance.
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said, "Lola"
L-O-L-A Lola, lo lo lo Lola

Well, I'm not the world's most physical guy,
but when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine
Oh my Lola, lo lo lo Lola, lo lo lo Lola

And then there's that Ricky Martin song, *shudder*.

I digress, and you get the point.

When Glenn hears the word "Lola" accompanied by music, his brain switches modes. He becomes a servant for the puppy blending nation. He steals bicycles, batters hobos, blends puppies, and entrances Richard Simmons into doing his will. (Refer to this "evidence" from our files).

Very scary, folks. And now Glenn Reynolds has joined the Alliance. He's looking to infiltrate and, perhaps, blend us one by one. Or he's fighting his terrible fate and we must help.

<suspensefulMusic>You decide.</suspensefulMusic>


Posted by hln at September 12, 2003 11:35 PM | Filthy Lies
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